Dear Guys Upstairs

The following is inspired by another blog I saw. I am not quite clear on the name of the blog, but it involved a guy who wrote letters to his female neighbors upstairs. I feel that the time has come for me to use the same tactic.

Dear Douches above me,

What the hell is going on up there? Are you running laps around your room? Is there some sort of furniture that needs to rotated in a circle and dropped every five minutes? Perhaps there is an elephant in your room. How the hell could there be an elephant in the room? Did you put it in the elevator or simply drag it up the stairs? It is in fact Wednesday night, so it is highly improbable that you are inebriated. How can you make so much noise? I hope the elephant is okay.

Sincerely,
Your downstairs neighbor.

*Ok so it wasn't that great, but give me a break, I have had all the creativity drained out of me.