It's been a while

Wow, it has been a long time since I've done this. What's new? Well, I recently joined a new dating site and for posterity, I will not endorse it (no matter how many people are on it) or condemn it (no matter how many creepers are on it). One thing this particular site has to offer is next to the picture of a perspective suitor, is this person's tag line. I have chosen a few of these and given my initial response to them. Enjoy!

Them: Actually cares and doesn't use women!
Me: I am glad you have quit using the harder drugs.

Them: Looking for a cool girl...
Me: Try the freezer section...

Them: Looking for my princess
Me: I'm sorry, but your princess is in another castle.

Them: looking for a good hearted lady
Me: I have a murmur.

Them: Good Guy Looking For A Girl Worth My tim
Me: Who Is tim And Why Isn't He Here Now?

Them: Trying to find you...
Me: You are looking for Waldo too?

Them: Be Yourself
Me: Alright. I am Batman.

Them: AM I YOUR TYPE?
Me: My blood type is B+

Them: But my mom says im handsome!
Me: She also told you about Santa

Them: Looking for an understanding woman!
Me: I don't get it.

Dear Guys Upstairs

The following is inspired by another blog I saw. I am not quite clear on the name of the blog, but it involved a guy who wrote letters to his female neighbors upstairs. I feel that the time has come for me to use the same tactic.

Dear Douches above me,

What the hell is going on up there? Are you running laps around your room? Is there some sort of furniture that needs to rotated in a circle and dropped every five minutes? Perhaps there is an elephant in your room. How the hell could there be an elephant in the room? Did you put it in the elevator or simply drag it up the stairs? It is in fact Wednesday night, so it is highly improbable that you are inebriated. How can you make so much noise? I hope the elephant is okay.

Sincerely,
Your downstairs neighbor.

*Ok so it wasn't that great, but give me a break, I have had all the creativity drained out of me.

I Don't Know

If anyone reads this (which I have my doubts), I just want to die. I recently have had not the best .news. I feel like I am so alone now. I can't talk about it and every time I think about I become more depressed. I cannot understand why this is happening to me. I really think that I cannot handle this alone...why do I have to be alone? I really wish I could be numb for this.

So...I've Been Thinking

Without having classes to occupy my mind, many things have come forward. And if anyone is reading this, which I have my doubts, you are the lucky receiver of the following rant:

We spend our entire childhood being told that we are special and unique, but then we spend the rest of our lives trying to find someone like us.

Welp that's basically it. Have a good life!

Injury update

Due to recent events that are transpiring, I am going to keep an injury list:

January 1-broken eardrum with wire necklace

February 14-sprang ankle on stairs in St. Mary Hall

March 14- burned with boiling water at home while killing chickens

April 28- lost voice due to loss of sleep

May 22- bruised my ass on the stairs

June 24- brother hit me...arm is still numb

July 1 and 12- You do not even want to know

August 1- Cat tried to assassinate me. Fell 3/4 of the way down the stairs on my tailbone.

September- I survived September! Praise Jesus!

October

November

December

It's Hot Outside

So...umm yeah, I know what you are thinking, another post, fantastic. Welp here she goes. First off it is figgin' hot outside, but I feel great because I am sitting in an air-conditioned room, in my underwear. It feels fantastic.

Now for a little segment I like to call, what I learned.
So for a quick update. I recently joined a website called okcupid.com I love this site, it is so fun. I have even gotten a few friends to join. Anyways, I have met some pretty awesome people through it, but I have come to this theory.

Younger men are looking for sex.
Older men are looking for someone to impregnate.

No offense, I am sure there are some nice guys out there, but I have found this to be true in my situation. ***Sigh***

That is all citizens. (Sorry, lame post)

This Shit Sucks

Okay, so here is an update to those of you who are interested in my life. 2010 will go down as the year of injuries. I believe this year to be the year that I have acquired the most injuries in my life...(If you are reading this, I hope you realize this is going to be a pity party so you should stop reading now. OK, if you are still reading, I am going to say sorry, but I warned you). I rung in the new year by breaking my eardrum. I spent my Valentine's Day by getting a sprained ankle. And I ended March by getting a second degree burn on my stomach (which I am pretty sure has become infected and will probably end up killing me, damn you Disney). On the plus side, I have been corrupting my friends by making them join a dating website. So tune in next time for fml...night all.